Which Query is better ? A or B ?

Question by : Which Query is better ? A or B ?
okay, i have written a book, and wrote my query, its science fiction ;

here is the first.. (A)

Thrusted into a deadly journey to save Nitrical, Ana, Cisilt, and Brock must band together in the worst of situations and hope for the best, meanwhile avoiding any tricks Scorch might have up his sleeve.

Ana and Cisilt are living peacefully in their highly controlled town called Kartillya, the only rule breaking they ever do is slipping into the dangerous fenced off forest of Payon. However, their peaceful life starts to unravel when Cisilt is forced to join the army, due to an oncoming war between the provinces of Dartyllin and Atrillyn. Yet, when a chance to return home arises, Cisilt quickly jumps at the chance. The only way he would be allowed to return home is to visit Scorch, a very powerful and dangerous man, and try and convince him to join Dartllyin in the war. Cisilt agrees, after he visits Scorch and just escapes a near encounter with death, Cisilt must journey the many miles home to Kartillya, and on his journey he meets Brock. The two travel home to Kartillya to find it in shambles. They quickly find and rescue Ana, Cisilt’s sister, and escape the ruined town. The three survivors begin to live in the forest of Payon as the war brews to bubbling point.

Finally, the war begins and many lives are lost to both Dartyllin and Atrillyn. Scorch, taking the weakened provinces to his advantage takes control of the whole country of Nitrical. Things seem hopeless, until the two remaining survivors of Kartillya, Cisilt and Ana find unknown powers that lay just beneath their skin, along with Brock they journey to do the impossible. Yet, things for Brock seem to fall apart as his lies begin to unravel. And as the group journeys to save Nitrical they begin to uncover secrets about those closest to them and they quickly learn that certain secrets might have been better left alone…

Here is my second; (B)

Ana and Cisilt are living peacefully in their highly controlled town called Kartillya, the only rule breaking they ever do is slipping into the dangerous fenced off forest of Payon. However, their peaceful life starts to unravel when Cisilt is forced to join the army, due to an oncoming war between the provinces of Dartyllin and Atrillyn. Cisilt attends classes at army training with Taylor and Jakit, friends he meets there, Cisilt presumes he will be there training for several months. However, the three are volunteered for a deadly mission after only a week, to go and visit Scorch, a very powerful and deadly man, to convince him to join Dartllyin in the war. If they do so, they will be aloud to go home, Cisilt agrees, and himself, Jakit, Taylor, and four other surprising creatures. They deliver the message, infuriating Scorch. Just escaping a near encounter with death at Scorch’s fortress Cisilt must journey the many miles home to Kartillya, and on his journey he meets Brock. The two travel home to Kartillya to find it in shambles. They quickly find and rescue Ana, Cisilt’s sister, and escape the ruined town. The three survivors begin to live in the forest of Payon as the war brews to bubbling point.

Finally, the war begins and many lives are lost to both Dartyllin and Atrillyn. Scorch, taking the weakened provinces to his advantage takes control of the whole country of Nitrical. Things seem hopeless, until the two remaining survivors of Kartillya, Cisilt and Ana find unknown powers that lay just beneath their skin, along with Brock they journey to do the impossible. Yet, things for Brock seem to fall apart as his lies begin to unravel. And as the group journeys to save Nitrical they begin to uncover secrets about those closest to them and they quickly learn that certain secrets might have been better left alone…

Best answer:

Answer by E B
B, but you should edit it a bit. It’s kind of exhausting to read.

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